Career Objective: A job

Experience: Plenty

Education: Yup

Special Experience: Proficient in many positions

Awards: Eagle Scout, F.B.I.’s 10 most wanted and 2 World Championships

Available: As soon as I finish this beer

Health: Can kick your butt

Personal: None of your damn business

References: Dirt Bag, Grease Ball, Tiny, Bunny, Bambi and little1